Sunday, November 4, 2007

Monday Poetry Train #10 - Will You Play Along?

Hello Poetry Train Riders!

I thought it would be fun to have a game/contest and hope you hop on and play. (you don't even have to be a regular poetry train rider to play)

I've rearranged 36 words from part of an old poem of mine to make a new poem. There are 6 words in each line and 6 lines in the poem.

YOUR job is to rearrange the words to form a new poem. Each line must have the SAME amout of words in it. So it could have 2 words per line and 18 lines, 3 words in 12 lines, 4 words in 9 lines, etc. You get the point.

Here's the poem I came up with:

landscape is a form of character
reaching into leaves a wasp nest
licked together by an orchestra of
tongues wild and orange sliver for
moon impeccable shadow some kinds of
beauty you just have to trust


Everyone who rearranges the words will be in the contest and I'll pick one winner (along with an anonymous judge and any of you who would like to vote for particular poems). I'll send a little poetry package to the winner.

Take a RIDE on RHIAN'S poetry train

21 comments:

Ann said...

Very cool. I rearranged the poem, but I wasn't sure if I needed to use all of the words. Here's mine:

landscape is form
character reaching leaves
a wasp nest
an orchestra together
wild tongues sliver
licked by shadow
impeccable orange moon
and for some
beauty you trust

Danika / OpenChannel said...

Hmmm, I guess I never specified that you had to use ALL the words, so kudos to you for breaking the rules. Gotta love that. And speedy entry!

I like:
wild tongues sliver
licked by shadow

Missy said...

Great idea! Here's my offering:

form a landscape
wasp reaching into
an orchestra of
orange and silver
moon shadow impeccable
beauty you trust

Danika / OpenChannel said...

Cool. Thanks for playing!

I like how yours moves, especially "reaching into
an orchestra of
orange and silver"

Rhian said...

That was fun! Here's mine...probably breaking unwritten rules as well, but what the hey.

"You nest into beauty
Reaching for wild shadow
By an impeccable landscape,
And tongues just trust
To form of character…
Some nest beauty together."

gautami tripathy said...

Phew! Can I try it a little later?

:D

julia said...

What a GREAT idea! First of all, I like your opening line:
"landscape is a form of character"

Here's mine:

Leaves licked orange
Reaching wild trust
Beauty into orchestra
Form together tongues
Some nest and
You have just
Sliver landscape, an
Impeccable shadow, a
Wasp, a moon
Character is kind

Cheated slightly on 'kinds', needed to drop the 's'.

Lisa Andel said...

Ugh. I am so not awake enough for this. It doesn't have to make any sense, right?

Moon Orange Kinds is of impeccable
character. Wild landscape of wasp licked
beauty. Tongues reaching together into leaves
of shadow, form a trust by
an orchestra. For some to just
nest, and you have a sliver.

Michelle Johnson said...

Thank you for dropping by Poefusion. I will give this a try but, I will have to ponder the poem first. Rhian, I like yours best of all. Keep up the good work everyone. You all have nice poems. Thanks for inviting me to play, Danika. I will definitely be back.

Have a nice day.
Michelle

Rhian said...

woot! Thanks Michelle! Doing the Snoopy happy dance!

Susan Helene Gottfried said...

Finally back... I need to wake up enough to think. Can I enter tomorrow?

Michelle Johnson said...

Danika, I wanted to say that I copied your words into my post to show everyone who I wrote for and why. I hope you don't mind. If you do, I will delete that part of the post. Just let me know. Here's the link to my poem. "Beauty Leaves"

Michelle

Danika / OpenChannel said...

Okay, now you're all just making it really hard to declare a winner. Yes, Susan and Guatami, you can do it later and I'll say the "winner" tomorrow (Tuesday) night.

Rhian, I love the sound of "tongues just trust" (say it out loud, it feels good).

Thanks, Julia. It's amazing the difference in tone and rhythm you've created simply by the arrangement, a few commas, and the short line lengths. I like the ending "a wasp, a moon, character is kind."

Danika / OpenChannel said...

Lisa - hey, I'm a big fan of writing poetry while 1/2 asleep. Thanks for playing!

Michelle - by all means, that's what it's posted for. Thanks for linking back.

writerwoman said...

What a cool idea.
Here is mine:


For you just
have to trust


a wasp reaching
into an orchestra
of tongues-licked
by some sliver
of orange moon.

impeccable is a
landscape-wild shadow,
leaves nest together,
form kinds of
beauty and character.

Michelle Johnson said...

How bad is that to comment twice and not mention anything about your poem? I hope you will forgive me. I love your poem. I especially liked this 'reaching into leaves a wasp nest' You painted a nice picture with your words. Keep up the good work.

Have a nice day.
Michelle

Danika / OpenChannel said...

Hi WriterWoman, thanks for checking it out.

I love this:
impeccable is a
landscape-wild shadow


Michelle - thanks, it's actually from a longer poem in a series I'm working on. I took a few lines from the poem and rearranged them.

Danika / OpenChannel said...

Okay, this was REALLY hard to decide. I liked parts of everyone's poems and it's amazing how different the rhythms considering we were all using the same words.

In the end, there was just something about Julia's that I kept coming back to. The sound and rhythm, the end.

So congrats, Julia! Send your address to openchannel at gmail dot com and I'll send you a juicy poetry package.

julia said...

Danika - thank you SO much.

Vicki said...

impeccable beauty reaching into character
together by wild leaves of
orange orchestra an sliver moon
nest of landscape to tongues
form shadow kinds a wasp
nest some of you trust
licked just for have and is


This was so much harder to do than I thought it would be.

I'm out the door now with the kids to go ride go carts. :)

I know I'm late to the party on this one but I wanted to play anyway. Have a great day!!! :D

Danika / OpenChannel said...

Love it, Vicki! "nest of landscapes to tongues"

Julia - you're welcome - I was just happy so many folks played along.